are you still at the devil's house?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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