brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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