So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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