was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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