so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Shame is for Republicans.
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