I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
