Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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