and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
