i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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