Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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