now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
