Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
