The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
