3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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