marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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