Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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