She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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