She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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