he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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