New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
