so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Why are your pants in the freezer?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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