I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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