WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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