I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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