Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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