i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
