Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
