Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
