That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
