There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
