Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
