It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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