did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
do herpes really smell.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
