People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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