there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
