mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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