I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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