You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
