I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
