The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
