In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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