I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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