Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
