I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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