So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Its about making memories worth repressing
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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