how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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