Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
