yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
