you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
