she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
