Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
This is classic penis vs brain.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
